Scripts for hard conversations
Specific language helps when the conversation matters. These are scripts other parents have used. Adapt them to your voice and the relationship. The "Copy" button on each will copy the text to your clipboard.
Talking to a doctor
To your pediatrician
Raising PANS/PANDAS for the first time
I have been documenting some changes in my child that I want to walk you through. The onset was sudden, within [days/a week], and it followed [strep / illness / unknown]. The symptoms include [list]. I have read about PANS and PANDAS, and I want to specifically discuss whether this could fit. Even if you are not sure, can we run strep titers (ASO and Anti-DNase B), check ESR and CRP, and consider a referral to someone with PANS experience?
To your pediatrician
When you have been dismissed and are asking for the workup anyway
I understand you are not seeing what I am describing. I want to put on record that I am asking for these specific things today: a strep rapid test and culture, ASO and Anti-DNase B titers, a CBC, ESR, and CRP. If my concerns turn out to be wrong, we will have ruled out an important possibility. The American Academy of Pediatrics published its first clinical report on PANS in March 2025; this is no longer a fringe diagnosis.
To a specialist (neurology, psychiatry, rheumatology)
Requesting an evaluation
My child's pediatrician [or: I] would like an evaluation for PANS, a pediatric post-infectious autoimmune neuropsychiatric syndrome. Symptoms began [date] with sudden onset of [OCD / restrictive eating / tics / other]. We have [documented infection / negative throat culture but suspected exposure / no clear trigger yet]. Can we please book the earliest available appointment, including telehealth if that is faster?
Talking to family
To a parent, in-law, or family member who doesn't believe it
When you need them to take it seriously
I know this is hard to understand, and I know we have not talked about it before. PANS and PANDAS are a real autoimmune condition affecting kids. The brain becomes inflamed after an infection, and behaviors change. The American Academy of Pediatrics published a clinical report on it last year. I am not making this up, and I am not overreacting. What I need from you right now is [specific ask: childcare for siblings / not asking about it in front of the kids / coming to the appointment with me].
To a co-parent who is not on the same page
When you need alignment for the child's sake
I want us to be on the same page about what is going on with [child], even if we are not sure yet. Can we agree to: keep tracking symptoms together, share what we each notice at the end of each day, and not discipline through a flare. We can revisit our approach once we have more information from a provider.
Talking to a school
See the school templates page for emails to teachers, principals, and 504 coordinators.
Tone, not just words
Not medical advice. This content is for orientation only. Diagnosis requires a trained clinician. If your child is in acute distress, contact your provider or go to the nearest emergency room.